Have you ever had one of those days you just didn't want to get out of bed? You didn't or maybe couldn't face the next problem you knew was lurking around the corner...
Welcome to my week!
I have needed to remind myself of this fact a few times this month. There is nothing really terrible going on, nothing life threatening. I still have my family that I adore, things could not be better with Rick and I, the kids are doing great, I still have my job...not sure if that is a Yeah or just an alright. My illness seems to have disappeared...maybe "he" was poisoning me! :/ Hummmmmmm...
It's just those nagging problems that are not easy fixes. The ones that make you run around in circles never reaching the end. By bed time your left standing there with your palm to your head, still feeling stressed out, and you have more questions then answers. Welcome to my never-ending stress circle...where answers are always just out of reach! Sounds like fun huh...you know you want to join me. The brochure is in the mail!
In all honesty I think I am my biggest problem. Instead of focusing on the issue or problem at hand, my mind tends to wonder and look for reasons why this is happening and how it must be all my fault. So now I have this problem, no answer or solution to fix it, and I feel like crap because now I have twisted some non-sense into a very logical reason in my mind why this problem is now my fault and maybe I deserve it.
Maybe - I am not supposed to be happy.
Maybe - "he" was supposed to win after all.
Maybe - I really am a bad person...that those bad things happen to.
I don't know...
I do know I am tired of feeling out of control of my life and the things happening to it, I am tired of all this rain, (Two weeks of grey does not help with feeling like crap) and I would love for something this month to just work the way it is supposed to...easily. I mean come on it even took me two hours on the phone to pay a bill this morning...REALLY??? Easy just give me a little easy.
But then again where would my adventures be?
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